Identity & Illusion

"I thought I was above, but I’m just beyond. Searching for a tribe where I can respond."

Above or Beyond? was born out of a conversation with my partner about Toastmasters—a group meant to build confidence, foster connection, and encourage expression. But for me, it triggered something unexpected: a deep discomfort. Not with the people, not even with the format—but with myself in that setting.

Why did I feel so out of place when others felt inspired? Why did I silently judge speeches as shallow while offering nothing myself? Was I just arrogant? Or was I starved for something deeper?

This song is an honest reflection of that tension—between belonging and standing apart, between craving depth and hiding behind theory. It’s about realizing that sometimes we label others as "sheep" not because they are, but because we’re afraid we’ve lost the map to our own voice.

The title “Above or Beyond?” asks a painful question I had to sit with: Am I simply looking down on others from a place of ego? Or am I reaching for something that hasn't yet found its shape in the room?

There’s no clear answer. Just the song.

“I’m not here to conquer fear. But to meet it when it’s near.”

This song is a dialogue—between the voice that seeks truth, and the voice that quietly fears it’s not enough.

I wrote this while reflecting on what really drives us: – The need to be right – To be liked – To be useful – To feel complete.

It’s inspired by a passage from Peter Ralston on the self-agenda—how our deepest drives are often rooted in a subtle background dissatisfaction. But what happens when that dissolves?

"Useless / Whole" is about shedding the masks we build around our fear of not mattering… and finding something far more peaceful underneath.

"Now I can’t tell what’s me, what’s myth. It’s just the lens I built to live with."

Are you who you are… or who you had to become to feel safe?

This song is about the quiet illusions we build around ourselves. The identities we mistake for truth. The stories we repeat so often, they become reality.

I always thought I was “introverted.” But what if that label was just the safest option? What if my identity was a loop — self-reinforcing, self-made?

"It ain't the truth that sets us free. It's the lie we want reality to be."

“Life is more or less a lie... but then again, that’s exactly the way we want it to be.” – Bob Dylan

This song was born from that one line. What if we don’t want the truth? What if we prefer the illusion — polished, comforting, just believable enough to carry us through?

"This is the life I imagined. And I forgot that I made it up."

What if your entire life — your identity, your struggles, your purpose — is just a story you're telling yourself? Not metaphorically. Literally.

This song was born from that realization. Inspired by Peter Ralston’s Pursuing Consciousness, it explores how we construct reality from context and imagination. What feels solid is often just a narrative… and when we stop telling it, it slips away.

"The roles I play, the truths I speak. All built from words, all paper-thin. But I defend them like they’re skin."

You know that moment when you wake from a dream… and realize it felt real?

This song asks: what if that’s our waking life too?

“Just a Dream” explores the idea that much of what we experience — our thoughts, roles, even identity — might just be a conceptual story. Inspired by Peter Ralston’s insights into consciousness, the lyrics drift through that unsettling space between belief and awakening.

"But the truth was in the stillness. I used to fear the most."

We all live inside stories — roles, thoughts, emotions, justifications. But what happens when you see the story? What happens when you realize… you’re not just the character?

This song is for anyone who's started to deconstruct reality, to question the internal narrator, and to glimpse the silence underneath it all.

"I play, I build, but I don’t hold tight. ‘Cause nothing is mine in the morning light."

Most people spend life chasing cheese. Success, status, love, security — always the next goal, always the next fix. But what if the cheese was never the point?

This song is a conversation about freedom. About choosing to play the game without being trapped by it. About discovering the beauty of meaninglessness — not in a dark, nihilistic way, but in a playful, liberating way.

👉 Can we live, love, and grow without needing it to mean anything? 👉 Can we taste the joy of this moment, whether we win or lose?

Listen. Reflect. Let me know where you are in your journey. Still chasing? Stepping off? Somewhere in between?

"If I stop, if I wait. Will the game disintegrate?"

We like to think we’re in control. We like to think we want what we want.

But what if the mind is just playing its own little game? What if the things we chase… What we envy, what we fight for, even what we rebel against… Are all part of the same story the mind tells to keep us busy?

This song is a reflection on that uncomfortable truth: Maybe our dreams, our jealousy, our purpose—they’re not really ours. Maybe we’re just actors in the mind’s desperate game to validate itself.

If you’ve ever asked yourself: 👉 What actually drives me? 👉 Am I living, or just reacting? 👉 What happens if I stop playing?

…this song is for you.

"I’m a shape shifter, love lifter. Playful soul and truth resister."

Today I watched a Bob Dylan film… and something shifted. I saw Dylan as I’ve never seen him before — not as a legend, but as a nobody who loved writing songs. He started in folk, but refused to stay where people wanted him. He didn’t chase applause — he chased truth. Not better music, just different music.

That hit me hard.

I don’t want to box myself into a genre, a persona, or even a plan. I want to wake up each day as a new note. Let my soul speak. Let creativity surprise me. Let life feel like a fun play I’m lucky to be cast in.

Today, I’m creating again. Something new. Something now.

"We’re just animals with longing. Looking for what we can’t leave."

Inspired by anthropologist Clifford Geertz’s quote:

“Man is an animal suspended in webs of significance he himself has spun.”

This track explores the tension between identity and illusion, meaning and myth — all wrapped in chilled synth textures and a slow, steady pulse.

It's a song about self-inquiry, the masks we wear, and what remains when they fall away.